My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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