Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize