In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
sex in a hospital.. check
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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