at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize