So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
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no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
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I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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