I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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