I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize