just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she smelled like a LAN party
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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