We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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