Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize