He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
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Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
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Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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