you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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