we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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