3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize