I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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