We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
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I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
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I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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