So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize