she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize