belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize