And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
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Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
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He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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