Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
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Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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