You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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