just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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