mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
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Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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