Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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