So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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