How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize