i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
time to smoke my breakfast
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
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He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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