this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
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Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
How external is "for external use only"?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
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I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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