i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize