I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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