Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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