just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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