if you like me you must not know who I am
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize