Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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