is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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