Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
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I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You are the jesus of drinking
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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