Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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