I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
