loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Randomize