When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
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I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
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My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize