so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
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she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
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He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
and you fell through a lawn chair
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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