i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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