if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
What a dumb baby whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize