In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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