you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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