I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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