So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
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all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
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True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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