I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize