What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize